Alright, its been a little since I blogged and that is from lack of planning content because I am in the middle of a MOVE but what better way to jump back into blogging than to attack a super controversial yet important topic.
For the intro of this blog post I am just going to STRONGLY encourage you to read this Instagram post.
View this post on Instagram
I have never been more worried about being a female coming into herself in this day and age. Men understand this isn’t to cut you down or say you have a lack of struggles. I know there are fantastic honest men out there. I’m dating one. . . We live in a society where there is danger in all we do. . • Don’t walk alone at night . . • Watch your drink when out with friends . . • Meet first dates in a public place and make sure people know where you’re going . . • I wanted to go for a walk on a beautiful trail but couldn’t because all I could think about is a young girl who went out for a run and never returned because she told a guy to go away . . • Uber is no longer an option for me because I’ve felt unsafe so many times. I’ve even been taken into an empty parking lot and had the uber go behind the building and park briefly and when I freak have him tell me “it was a short cut” . Only to call the emergency line and never hear back. . • I have my story in the #metoo movement but refuse to share it and if you spend two minutes on social media you’ll understand why . . • We question if women were really assaulted when they don’t come forward but shame them and tell them we don’t believe them when we do . . • We are TERRIFIED that our rights are going to be taken from us at ANY minute. . . I feel like we’ve stepped back YEARS. I can’t even believe my mind some of the things we have to go through, THINGS all humans have to go through, in 2018. This isn’t a political post this is a “we need to do better post”. As a society we need to practice empathy, compassion, minding our own damn business, acceptance of differences. What saddens me is that this cry will go unheard. However, if it reaches you in some way then just take ONE, just one, small step on having a positive impact on the change in society. That’s all I ask from you.
Okay, now that you’ve read that (right?) lets clarify a few things before I go off on this topic.
- I hate talking politics I have avoided it for 24 years but I am SCARED and PISSED
- I believe in equality of rights between sexes. Plain and simple so if you think men are superior you can get off this page and if you think women are superior you can get off this page. Lets work together.
- This is a opinionated post I am posting WHAT I THINK. I am not telling YOU HOW TO THINK and I am not MAKING THINGS UP AND PRESENTING THEM AS FACTS (**cough cough** unlike most media sites **cough cough**)
- I refuse to have a political debate. So if you trying to correct, come at me, etc don’t even try.
- I believe in due process but I am not ignorant to the fact that a lot of cases don’t have evidence.
Now lets go. HOLY HELL, did I step back into the 1950’s? Men are being appointed (and sadly confirmed) for Supreme court who have a pure hatred for woman, the president is mocking potential rape victims, and men are trying to tell us what to do with OUR bodies. I have two words to describe this all. Absolutely terrifying.
This is not JUST about if he did it or not:
At the end of the day while I do believe the women that came forward, I also believe it is way beyond that. We can put all that aside and talk about one thing. THE WAY THAT HE ACTED WHILE HE WAS “ON TRIAL”. If you missed it let me recap
- Brett Kavanaugh responded to questions he was asked by saying “I don’t know, have you”. I nannied in college and the kids I nannied said this.
- Brett Kavanuagh, a man who is up to be a non-partisan member of the supreme court, blamed this whole thing on the democrats.
- He showed a pure misogynistic attitude.
- He cried.
I am sorry, this is not how someone we want determining court decisions that effect all of America acting. Often time judges in the supreme court are faced with extreme amounts of pressure when determining the fate of life-changing cases. The fact that Kavanaugh couldn’t conduct himself appropriately under pressure its a HUGE red flag. The fact that he was antagonizing women who were asking questions shows that he has a clear hatred for women. If you just look at him its almost like he can’t even believe a woman would speak to him that way. The fact that he was BLAMING the democrats shows he not capable of making non-partisan decisions on the behalf of America.
It is scary that someone who has clearly shown the opposite of all the “standards” to be a supreme court judge has been confirmed. If we don’t have our standards for this then what do we have? Not to mention after that “performance” multiple people who had endorsed him and supported him before WITHDREW that or QUESTIONED their decisions PUBLICLY. Yet, he still is in a place of ultimate power.
Here is actually a well written article about this:
I don’t even want to get started on the fact that the FBI investigation showed that he “didn’t do it”. They were told who and what they can investigate and the fact that that was accepted was absolutely ridiculous and a sign of the times.
“It’s a scary time for young men in America” :
First, let me just break the heaviness of this topic (kind of) by sharing this
Okay, now lets talk about this. Yeah, okay I truly get that men may have a legitimate fear of being falsely accused of something, I truly do. However, that being said there are FAR more cases of women coming forward and not being believed, far more cases of men being found guilty but not serving ANY jail time, or far more cases of women who don’t even come forward at all. I don’t think that the below is the extreme we are at.
Let’s take my boy (NOT) Kavanaugh, I mean what more of a grand scale example do we need? The man was accused of assaulting three (not one, not two, but THREE) women. Guess what, he is confirmed in the supreme court. He is one of the judges who literally gets to decide my future, your future, and America’s future. So please tell me in what way his life is affected? He got his name smeared a little bit? Well, it doesn’t look like it because he has everything he ever wanted. Dr. Ford, on the other hand, is essentially in hiding because she is receiving death threats for coming forward.
Okay, want to take a look at LESS politically related examples? I direct you towards this horrible compilation of news articles, make sure you are logged into Facebook to see it (WARNING THIS CAN BE EXTREMELY UPSETTING):
At the end of the day most men who are falsely accused are vindicated. Most women who come forward are never believed. Want to know why this is so damn dangerous? We then create a culture where women don’t even report, so literally they just live in the same world as their rapist never finding the voice to speak up, and worse the RAPIST ROMES FREE. Look at this powerful post below.
I am not downplaying male victims, and Lord knows there are male victims. However, I will tell you this “its a scary time to be a man” thing IS DOWNPLAYING the terrifying struggles women are going through right now.
Why are we scared as women?
Some people, a lot of people, think we are overreacting. Nope, wrong. Unfortunately, these extremist views that politicians have ( I.e. “Birth Control is an abortion inducing drug”, overturning Roe V Wade, making fun of rape victims) sets A PRECEDENT. It is so outlandish and never heard of before (yes its heard of but its becoming way more relevant than it should be in politics) but now its being said. So now that it is being said it encourages others that these views and come forward. It is also shaping young impressionable minds. While we are a country who has a right to free speech, does that right to free speech translate into women not having the right to control their bodies? That should not be the case, yet with these views it is. We shouldn’t have to worry about another person’s freedom of speech reversing rights that we have worked hard for. Is freedom of speech important? Hell yes. Is there some laws out there that need to be changed, such as laws that inhibit the rights of a human beings? HELL yes. Think about it just a few years ago all states made gay marriage legal BECAUSE WE HAD NO RIGHT TO TELL THEM NOT TO GET MARRIED. Just like men and other women have no right to tell a women what to do with their body. So no, we are not overreacting! There is a risk of very conservative, old, and misogynistic men coming forward and taking away what we have earned.
Drawing the line:
Okay, I get how horrible things like this are and how heated they can make us (hence this blog). However, that being said we NEED to learn where to draw the line. There are some unlikely victims in all this that we fail to remember, the families. WE CANNOT JUDGE a whole family by the actions of one member.
For example, Kavanaugh’s 10 YEAR OLD daughter was a target of a cartoonist’s drawing. Listen here, this girl is a minor and her whole world is being shaken. The whole situation happened 30+ years ago, and if he is guilty, he deserves it to follow him around for the rest of his life. However, it does not need to open up avenues to attack his 10 year old daughter who wasn’t even born at the time, or any members of the family for that matter.
At the end of the day pushing death threats, vile comments, and things along those lines do not make us better or change the situation. In fact I would say when we react like this it lessens the impact of the mission we are trying to achieve here. It gives people an easy out. As messed up as it is, society is looking for any and every reason not to believe you and just to keep on perpetuating rape culture. I mean think about these common lines:
- She was wearing barely anything, she asked for it.
- She is confused about what really happened to her.
- She was drinking to much.
- Shes doing it to get back at him for a break up.
ow you are a powerful women and FIGHT as hard as hell, but don’t start fighting with pettiness. Fight with your powerful voice, fight with your mind, fight with your strength to endure. Do not fight like a teenage girl and don’t go after people who aren’t apart of this.
Am I saying we should live in fear?
Absolutely, f****** not! If we live in fear, then we are saying that we are going to to give into these people trying to control our lives. So this section is going to be sort and sweet DO NOT LIVE IN FEAR. Fight for the change and show that women are powerful as shit.
Men I still love you:
As long as you don’t fit under this category
- Extremist with views against my rights
- Telling me what the f*** I can do with my body
- A rapist, harasser, pig (All which women can be too)
- Think women have a certain place in the world
- Want to overturn Roe v Wade
- Display a clear hatred for women in an interview that determines if you will be on the supreme court or not
I mean do I really need to make this a bigger list you get the picture. BUT SERIOUSLY. I do love you men just like I love women. You have made MANY big contributions to this world, you vote in women’s interest, you support us, you believe in our rights, and you are NOT THE ENEMY. Bad men and women alike are the enemy (notice how I am not saying republican or democrat because I DON’T CARE JUST BE A GOOD PERSON).
This is not a problem that us women have to conquer alone, so if women if you are acting like that STOP IT, this is something that good people and society must fight against TOGETHER. Lets take the politics out of it for ONE SECOND. What is the problem we need to fight against? We need to fight against a culture that shames victims for coming forward, we need to fight against a culture that shames victims from even reporting at all, we need to fight against a culture when men and women alike lose rights they have rightfully earned. Just like we need to fight against stigmas on mental health we need to fight against this!
In conclusion this video explains it perfectly.